blah..blah and more blah!! and a bit of slurp!
tepid and timid, thieving forlorn glimpses,
how can they be anything but venomous;
to the bold wind caressing your hair.
blinded that they are, these distant oculars,
blinded with the sight of your beauty;
my eyes are now sinners.
to spite others who behold your beauty,
is the sin they'd gladly surrender to;
finding salvation in each glimpse won,
now forever theirs to treasure.
posted by Nachi at 10:00 PM
A few words that go a long way in describing me;
Bong: it supposedly sounds cooler, gives you a high and is the new age lingo for a Bengali (Bengali meaning an East Indian with a panache for literature, music, economics, rice & fish curry and Marxism).
Student: a synonym for a slave who does all sort of labour with the hope that someday he will be set free, make some money and have a life.
Man: God's best creation...until women came along!!
Master: have property rights of a cat named Richard Parker (RP), who's alias's include Rarri and Piki.
1 Comments:
A good attempt at narrative poetry however perhaps you need to look at building up on imagery and inversion of word order etc.
Well it is just Ahab and Pequod but what about the others you have brushed them aside.
Perhaps the emotionality that hit you when reading the text is there but it does not hit the reader --- guess you could re write the poem or write a new version of it ---- Keep writing.
love
rajan
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